


The Strangest of Places

by melanie1982



Category: Blue Bloods (TV)
Genre: Drabbles, F/M, Goodbyes, Grief, Love, Trauma, dream - Freeform, haventseentheepisode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 19:15:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12282747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melanie1982/pseuds/melanie1982
Summary: Grief is a form of madness. In the early days of loss, it's difficult to tell what's real, and what's wishful thinking.Unless, of course, there's evidence..DrabblesFiction. I do not own these characters, and I make no money from this work.





	1. Chapter 1

The quiet is deafening. Oppressive. No gentle nagging; no swapping stories of the good, bad, and ugly of your respective work-days; no loving banter.

Once family and friends have left for much-needed rest, it's just you. One body, where once two co-existed.

The space still smells of her, but it is colder, barer, different. Somewhere, a clock ticks. A car drives down the street. The world continues to spin.

Without her.

You want to scream, so you do - into her pillow.


	2. Chapter 2

Answers don't help. Logic doesn't fill the void; facts can't override the pain. Knowing details changes nothing.

Still, you turn it all over and over in your mind: The last time you saw her. The last conversation. The last time you made love.

You were both tired, and it was.. rushed? No - but it wasn't as leisurely as you'd have liked. If you'd known then; if you'd known..

God, the feel of her. The way she welcomed you into her body, whenever you needed her. Her gift to you. 

"Was it good for you, baby?," you ask the air, kicking yourself. 

If you'd known..


	3. Chapter 3

You haven't had to do your own cooking or cleaning since your bachelor days. This feels like life in reverse, a gradual move toward independence, where once there was a merging of two souls, two personalities in one space. 

Your sister offers help, but you rebuff. You're now Dad AND Mom; you'll have to learn.

The kids pick at their food. "This tastes different," your oldest observes.

"I'm workin' on it," you sigh.

The secret ingredient - her love - isn't sold in stores.


	4. Chapter 4

The first Sunday dinner 'after', Erin cooks the roast. You take notes. 

Nikki sets the table, forgetting to omit one place. She flusters, trying to gather up the silverware before you catch her mistake, but your hand rests on her wrist, gently.

"It's okay. Leave it."

She meets your gaze, tears threatening to spill. "Uncle Danny.."

You pull her to your chest, feeling her heartbeat stutter like your own. There are no words.


	5. Chapter 5

You haven't shut off her phone service. It's silly, but, you like knowing you could text her. Her voicemail greeting haunts you, but you can't stop replaying it.

You know the end of the month is coming. One income now; you'll have to shut it off. 

Just a little longer, you tell yourself. 

Reading through her texts to her friends, you find that you and the kids were her favorite subjects. You feel lucky, even in your pain.


	6. Chapter 6

The condolence cards and flowers cease. The sympathy casseroles have all been consumed. Her friends rarely call.

Everyone else is moving on, but you still have a hole in your heart.

You'd talked once about what to do if one of you became widowed.

"He can't be better-looking than me - but go for richer," you'd teased.

"Find somebody sweet, Danny - good with the kids, but tough enough to keep you in line."

It was half-jest, but now it doesn't seem as funny.

The thought of someone new in your heart or your bed seems like a bad joke.


	7. Chapter 7

A dream. She's in that dress, the one that's just a tad too short.

"Linda?"

"Hey, Danny." Then, "I'm okay. You're okay, too - all of you."

"How can I be?"

That smile. "Go easy on yourself. You're doin' fine."

So much to say, so much to ask, but her love makes your mind go blank. You hug, and you want to go with her, to just leave this world -

"You take care of our boys, Danny Reagan," she orders, letting go.

"Linda?"

She turns.

"I'm around. In the strangest of places, you'll find me. You'll know."

You doubt.

"Your missing sock is behind the dresser," she smiles, fading.

When you wake, you check.

Your black sock, half of a long-ago Father's Day gift, is wedged between the dresser and the wall.

You cry, but this time, the love outweighs the pain.


End file.
